Ryan Keely in the backroom of Mishka

Ryan Keely is a porn star, Penthouse Pet, former Playboy radio host and comic book nerd. She holds live sex seminars where she demonstrates “the proper way to put something in someone’s butt, the proper way to use a sex toy and the proper way to seduce someone,” and she will soon begin penning Penthouse Forum‘s advice column. She also appears on the cover of this quarter’s issue of ACCLAIM Magazine, an event which she was celebrating with an in-store signing at Mishka in Brooklyn.

I sat down with Ryan to discuss fetishes, comic books, her lesbian escapades with her BFF and M. Night Shyamalan in the office/stockroom of Mishka, which oddly enough sounds like the setting of a porno.

Arv: When did you get started in the adult entertainment industry?

Ryan Keely: I worked in the adult industry since I was 18 years old. I’ve worked behind the scenes in a variety of jobs, but I’ve only been modeling for about three years now.

What’d you do behind the scenes?

Everything, literally everything. I worked in a porn shop, I worked as a buyer for two major companies, I had my own radio show for about two years, I worked on set as a production assistant and as a production manager. So I’ve pretty much done everything in the industry, and at one point I decided it was time for me to get in front of the camera.

What made you want to get started in the industry?

I don’t think anyone ever has that “a-ha” eureka moment about getting into porn. I was 18 years old, and I knew that my parents didn’t have the money to send me to medical school and I realized that I wanted to work in something that would be challenging and something that would give me a lot of opportunity without having a piece of paper saying that I’m smart and motivated. So the adult industry was a natural fit, and I’ve always love human sexuality. I’ve been fascinated by it since sex ed. back in fifth grade.

Do you think that initial interest in anatomy that goes with being interested in medicine lent itself at all to your career now?

It’s more of the psychology behind things that I find particularly fascinating. Everyone’s sexuality is completely different. Like I’ve said it before, there are no two fetishes that are exactly the same. Someone’s who’s into feet may want bare feet, someone wants clean feet, someone wants dirty feet, someone wants stocking feet. Then they might be into feet but they also might be into this other thing. Everyone is so different when it comes to sexuality and there’s so many different variations that it’s endlessly fascinating.

There’s a quote on your website that goes, “My body found new sensations … bondage, squirting, sado-masochism –”

That’s all copy. My current website, which is actually going to be pulled down, was based around an idea for a comic book and feature length film, which there’s been talks about, and right now we’re trying to do a much simpler design.

You mentioned comic books, and it seems like you’re really into a lot of nerdy things, like comics. How did that start?

Actually today I have a whole article that I wrote on Ain’t It Cool News about which comic books I like to read. Very passionate about comic books. I don’t read any superhero stuff, just flat off the bat. So mostly Ennis and Ellis. I’m really into post-apocalyptic, dystopian alternate realities. I think what’s really amazing about thinking about the future post an apocalyptic event or thinking about sci-fi in any way is that you’re thinking about an alternate reality, you’re taking a concept and really taking it to the furthest extreme. I learned more about psychology from Ender’s Game than any class that I’ve ever taken, and I took a few psychology classes and a few philosophy classes too. It’s really amazing how these creative genres can really make your brain work in interesting ways and yet be really enjoyable and fascinating and an amazing read.

Backtracking a little bit: You mentioned fetishes, what would you say is the most kinky, strangest thing you’ve done?

Me? Ha! Um, gosh. I’ve done so many things and I’m very experimental. Recently I did complete encasement, which was completely encased in nylon and then played around with a violet wand. You can actually see some of that in an article I did for Bizarre Magazine. I’ve done things like a variation of sploshing where you’re completely dressed and you get into bathtubs. I’ve done some of that, which was very interesting, an interesting sensation. Full latex is very fun. I’ve experimented with BDSM. I’m more of a fetishist than into power-play games. I love shooting foot-fetish videos.

Ryan Keely getting pwned by DragonLily on Ultimate Surrender

I saw that you were on Ultimate Surrender with DragonLily.

Yeah, that was years ago. That was one of my earlier scenes. Sadly, I only got to fight once. What’s really fun about shooting Ultimate Surrender is that, when they first book you, they book you with someone who’s really good, so your ass is grass. They literally bring you up, and they know that they’re just going to mop the mat with you. That’s just what happens. It was really fun to shoot, and Lily was really fun to learn from. I put up a little bit of a fight, as much as I could.

So I’m guessing you lost that bout?

You always lose your first bout because they’re putting you with their best wrestlers so you can learn from someone who knows what they’re doing. If you’re wrestling someone who’s just falling around, there’s a lot more injury, you hurting yourself. If you have an experienced wrestler wrestling an inexperienced wrestler, the risk of injury is a lot lower. And you get the opportunity to learn from someone who’s very good.

Do you want a rematch against DragonLily?

I would love to. I would absolutely love to do another match.

I did some pretty extensive research yesterday online, and I couldn’t help but notice there are no videos of you with guys.

I don’t shoot boy-girl porn.

Is that because of personal distaste?

No, I love men. I think they’re incredibly sexy. The right opportunity hasn’t presented itself.

I also saw that you were in a spoof of the film Devil. Is M. Night Shyamalan as big of a douchebag as he seems to be?

He was sweet and hilarious! He was totally sweet. Everyone’s like, oh, he must’ve been this, that and the other. You know, I haven’t seen that many of his movies. The only one I think I’ve ever seen is Sixth Sense — oh, and Unbreakable, which I actually really enjoyed. But he was totally sweet and very funny.

Tweeted photo of Ryan Keely’s ass

I was looking at your Twitter and there was a recent photo of just your ass with a caption that read, “I didn’t know my butt could look that big.” And some dude commented, “Your ass looks sexy. Not big at all.” How much is that guy missing the point?

The bigger my butt looks, the happier I am. I love having a booty. I’ve been posting pictures of my butt online just because why the hell not? ‘Cause otherwise people quit reading my Twitter. I mean, I talk about mac n’ cheese way more than I talk about sexy girl stuff, so in the interest of keeping my followers interested, I started posting these butt shots. You know, like every other day I throw up a picture of my butt. And it was just this angle that my butt looked ginormous at, and I was marveling over the fact that it looked like I had a giant black-girl ass. I wasn’t like, “Oh, my butt’s so big.” It was more like, “Dood, this is amazing!”

“Maria Menendez”

Who is Maria Menendez?

It’s an old name that I used to use for modeling.

Are you part Hispanic?

Very, very small part. The thing is that I thought it was a very sexy name and I’m a teeny bit Cuban, but then I realized that I was getting pigeon-holed into all of these very Latina roles. And the thing about the adult industry is that it’s so racist. I kept showing up on these sets and they would say, “Can you say, ‘Ay papi?”

[Justine Joli, who has been video taping our interview, interjects.]

Justine Joli: Really? “Ay papi?”

Ryan Keely: Ay papi. They wanted me to say very cliche things, which I thought was offensive. I’m from the suburbs, I went to private school. Yes, I may have some Latin heritage, but I also have more Irish heritage, so it just made sense to change the name.

Justine Joli and Ryan Keely on the cover of ACCLAIM Magazine

So you’re here today at Mishka to celebrate your cover for ACCLAIM Magazine. What the fuck is ACCLAIM Magazine?

It is an Australian street-wear magazine. It’s actually one of the better street-wear magazines the world over. And for those who are really into street wear, it’s an amazing magazine. It’s such an honor to be put on the cover.

So you’re going to meet a bunch of your fans today. How would you describe them from past experiences?

I love my fans.

Do you think it’s ever weird meeting guys who jack it to you?

Only if they make it weird.

Has anything weird ever happened before?

No, not really. Fingers crossed. Knock wood.

BFFs Justine Joli and Ryan Keely in ACCLAIM Magazine

The theme of the ACCLAIM Magazine that you’re on the cover for is friendship, and you shared the cover with your best friend Justine.

Justine Joli is one of my very close girlfriends, and it was such an honor and such a fun time shooting with her. Also the photographer is also a close girlfriend of mine, Ellen Stagg. So it was a big ol’ love fest.

How did you guys become so close?

I was a fan of Justine’s, actually. I was doing a radio show back in L.A. and I got the opportunity to interview her, so I invited her on my show. We did a fabulous interview, and then she took me out to dinner afterward. And then our friendship slowly developed over time. I’ve known her for about three years now?

Justine Joli: Longer than that, 2002.

Ryan Keely: Wow, yeah. So we’ve known each other for a very long time. It’s been one of the most gratifying relationships in my life.

Have you guys ever fooled around? If so, please describe it in vivid detail.

Justine Joli: We’ve never actually been paid to have sex on film.

Ryan Keely: It’s always been for free and for fun, though Ellen Stagg does have some fabulous pictures. She tastes delicious. I like the way her pussy contracts when she comes, and her kisses are so much fun.

Justine Joli: I love you.

Ryan Keely: Love you back.

Later on that evening, Ryan, Justine and photographer Ellen Stagg autographed copies of the ACCLAIM Magazine they were featured in. Mishka was packed before the signing with fans pounding free Red Stripes and pretending to examine the latest Actual Pain collection while all they could actually think about was T n’ A.

A crowd of fans await Ryan and Justine’s arrival with boners bated.

Ellen Stagg, photographer of the ACCLAIM shoot

Trace gets a copy of the magazine signed by Justine, Ryan and Ellen for his three-year-old son.

Originally published on Street Carnage.